Friday, August 17, 2007

a letter for someone so special....


bakit ganun, parang everything has changed. kahapon lang, okey tayo. pero now that we're living in our own different dimensions, iba na rin ba? or is it only me? yikes. maybe i've expected too much. we were close. right. kaso baka i've interpreted it in a different light. mahirap talaga yung ganito. maybe you just see me as a friend. a close one, that is. i dont want to tell you how i feel naman kase baka mag-iba yung takbo ng paligid. sabi ng ibang friends, i should let you know my feelings daw. nyek, okey lang sila? i dont want to risk the friendship. alam mo, ngayon ko lang ulet nafeel to. i mean, when we're together, masaya ako. sobra. not because i like you. but because we're friends. nakakatuwa. i could just tell you anything and everything. hindi ako nahihiya. no pretensions whatsoever. kaso ang dami rin diyan na ganun din yung tingin sayo. i know im not the only one. ang friendly mo kase. you could just be anyone's bestfriend. as much as i would like to be your closest, im not demanding you to be. this time, i would teach myself not to expect anything from you. mahirap. ive learned this thing many times already. and this time, i dont want to make things difficult again, specially for me. i have to leave these concerns, of course with the Lord. i thank God for knowing you. for being your friend. kahit hindi bestfriend. ayos lang. thanks. you made me write again. i havent expressed myself maybe for the past months. im back.. and im wanting to write more. but this time, without giving misinterpretations to everything. i would leave things as they are. and if God has a different purpose for the both of us, then so be it. i wouldnt take things in my hand. God will. and i would like to say these matters to Him. Lord, You know how i feel towards this person. i just thank You and i truly appreciate this friendship. at this point, i dont want to expect anything in return. i know how it feels to get disappointed and frustrated, and i just pray that You would take the lead in this friendship. guide my feelings. and if ever, his feelings as well. Lord, if You would lead this friendship into something greater, then thanks! but if You plan otherwise, still salamat pa rin. just hold my heart. i know You have greater plans than i do. and Your thoughts are not like mine. You know what's best. and i would like to entrust You all these things. Father, please please hold my heart. sometimes i just dont know when i can be at my weakest. im willing to give this thing up to Your hands, Father. SALAMAT NG MARAMI. as for you, i dont know if you'll ever know this feeling that i have. i dont know what's next but i know, everything is perfect in God's hands. im giving you up. not because i dont like you anymore. not because im not looking forward of knowing you better.. not because im not eager to spend those brighter days ahead.. but actually, im giving you up because i want God to be God. ive been always praying for you. and it wont end there. to God be the glory. there. im just so happy kase ive learned to give her up last year pa. that was my Christmas gift to God and to myself. enjoy naman ang singlehood at masaya rin dahil siguro mas naa-appreciate ko yung friendship ngayon. wla kase akong ine-expect eh. haha. ang saya niya maging kaibigan. di ko papakilala sa inyo at baka maging masaya rin kayo. hahahaha. may isa lang akong hiling. wish ko lang may blogspot account siya diba. haha. para mapadali ang buhay. :-)