pApEt SaNtiLLaNa: ....iM HiT WiTh DePrEsSiOn.....

Thursday, August 30, 2007

....iM HiT WiTh DePrEsSiOn.....

I think theres something wrong with me. Nowadays , its either im in a very good mood or a very bad mood. Nothing in between.
Good mood behaviour
*Talk non-stop
*Laugh non-stop
*Be nice to everyone
*Up for anything
*Excited about everything
Bad mood behaviour
*Don’t even open my mouth , even when a super cute girl is talking to me (ah! wasted)
*Always angry
*Wish that my life in different
*Don’t even come out from my room if i’m at home
*Thinks that i’m the worst person in the world
*Impatient
*Feels like starting a fight even with my mother and my brother who was just trying to help
*Secretly hopes that the prettiest guy in our office falls down the stairs (i’m so mean)
*Cry non-stop over nothing
*Sometimes , only sometimes k , feels like killing someone (no one in particular) , preferably by stabbing them to death Out of 10 days , 8 days i’ll be in a very bad mood. What is wrong with me??

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aLL aBoUt Me....

Some cliched introduction would be in order. Most unnecessary, actually, since I intend to blog not anonymously and not let only a few friends know about this. Still, fresh starts for fresh journeys.
I go by Magiting (i dont know what it means in ilonggo).Call me papet if you want.Don't ask why the name 'Magiting' comes about. Crap, you may say. Inspiration out of nothing, I say.
I grow a year older every May twenty seventh. A Gemini. I am Filipino, born in San Joaquin Iloilo. But sometimes people mistake me for a igorot??? (hahahaha maybe i look like igorot).While I cherish personal time, I dislike loneliness. But maybe they are one and the same, are they not, except perhaps that loneliness is personal time for someone who does not wish for it.
I am primarily karay-a speaking, having been raised in an karay-a speaking family. I have an older brother, both parents, and no pets.
I am a person who say what i want to say. Mostly. But I am not one of those guys who talk about basketball, sex,discriminate girls just because they are supposedly the weaker sex and whine about rejections from them, because they are bitter over the fact that they have not gotten laid in a year and have resigned themselves to the sad truth that they will have to wait longer still. I simply think some women are dumb. But I love women; they can be smart/cute in their own ways but lovable, like dogs. In fact, I cannot stand most guys. Most of them think about balls and let their dicks lead them along. However, I am honest enough to acknowledge that I myself have the capacity to be everything I hate about other guys. Still, I maintain my stand.
I like to laugh, I like to write and chill out. I love reading. I am not a sporty person. I like to express myself. I like to look my best, I make no bones about it. Was it not Shakespeare who said, "Vanity, thy name is ***(it's not appropriate to put 'women' hence the asterisks? How very true.
I am realistic to a fault, imminently lazy, cynical, sardonic, acerbic. I tend to look at a picture in as many different views as I can to make a more accurate judgment of it; consequently, I am unbiased in judgment, but prone to confusing myself into contradiction and hence, indecision. By nature, I keep to myself and I value my privacy. I like to have time to myself, I find myself a very companionable companion to myself indeed. I have to have a lot of personal space. I am terribly self-conscious and have very low self-esteem. Often I am disgusted at myself.Relationships are always fleeting for me, because I find most girls my age too demanding in their expectations. I admit my expectations might be a tad too high, either. Worse still, I don't fall in love easily, and I fall out of love far too easily. But that's the way I am, and I won't settle for less. I am self-sufficient enough, and quite adequately emotionally independent not to constantly need a partner.
That's me, that's unabashedly princeofdamnation, and I make no apologies for it.